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I like to
hear from you, whether it is to say "Hi!", |
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© Jean Donahue 2001 Part 3 |
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Dad woke up one morning feeling
an urgency to get Mom to Long Beach to see Ethel, her sister.
This might be the last chance they would have to see each other.
On the
way down the coast I stopped in Salem, Oregon to phone Addie, a lady I
had never met but that had helped me in finding our Smithson ancestry. Addie was excited
about us being there and wanted us to come over to her house. We had
an enjoyable visit and Dad was surprised at how
involved tracing your family history can be.
We drove on down Interstate 5 toward Long Beach. They were having a heat wave. When we got close to Los Angeles one of the tires on the trailer blew out. I stopped the car to change the tire but I left the motor going for the air conditioning for my parents. A water hose blew on the car. Now we were really in trouble. There were places to make emergency calls not too far away but they were too far. I couldn't leave my parents. Mom might wander off and Dad wouldn't be able to stop her. I changed the tire then made a sign that said HELP and held it up for people to see. Cars kept going by, then about 45 minutes later a car stopped and took my AAA information. He said he would stop at the next exit and get help. A little later a highway patrol plane flew over and over their loud speaker they asked if I needed help. They told me to wave my hands if I did. Of course, I waved them a lot. They then told me they had called for help and that they would fly over until the tow truck arrived. They told me to wave if that was alright and I waved again. The tow truck came and they flew away. The truck hooked onto the car and pulled the car and trailer. At the auto shop they sat Mom and Dad in front of a fan and gave them something to drink. Hobbes sat there with them in his cage also. Hobbes complained a lot about during the whole time. I don't think he has ever been that hot in his life. The mechanic expedited the hoses they needed to their shop and repaired the car. They did a terrific job of trying to take care of my parents. I will always appreciate that. The next morning we left, knowing that we should make Long Beach that day. A couple hours later we had another blowout on the trailer. I stopped the car and changed the tire, but this time I turned the motor off. I didn't want another incident like the day before happening. I changed the tire in about 15 minutes. I was getting faster but I hoped this would be the last time. We didn't have another spare. We stopped for gas and Dad priced a tire for the trailer, but thought it was too expensive. We drove on and just about 20 minutes from the place we were going to camp in Long Beach another tire on the trailer blew. The traffic was heavy and fast and for a little while I didn't think anyone was going to let me into a side lane so I could stop. Finally a car let me into the left lane and I could pull over and stop in the median. I was in the process of unhooking the trailer when a patrol lady stopped and asked if I needed help. I explained what I was going to do and that I didn't need help. She left wishing me good luck. I put a wheel with one of the blown tires into the car and we drove back to the place Dad had priced the tire and bought the tire he thought was too expensive. I hooked up the car and changed the tire with cars driving past at 60-70 mph about 2 feet or less from me. We then went on to the campground. Dad bought two more new tires before we left Long Beach. We now had 3 spare tires.
It was a beautiful campground next to the Queen Mary. They were going to close 3 weeks later to build an aquarium on that spot. We visited Ethel, Perry and their family for a few days, and also Maxine, Dad's niece, and her family. After a few days Dad decided it was time to leave. On the road Dad decided I needed to do some genealogy research in Salt Lake City. He always told people he wasn't interested in our family history but at the same time he had me show the information to all our relatives. As we drove through Colorado Dad decided to drive a route he enjoyed. We camped at a campground that was over 9,000 feet high. That probably was not the smartest thing we ever did but it didn't cause any problems for Mom and Dad. In Nederland a man noticed that our car was overheating so we spent the next afternoon in a car shop in Boulder. Then we were off again to Granger. After we arrived in Granger I felt like I could handle almost anything. Dad was just excited about the trip and Mom was happy to get back home, although she didn't recognize the house. The trailer was her home. Dad decided I needed an actual computer stand for the trailer and worked on it every day for a few weeks. It takes Dad a lot longer to do anything but he still can figure things out and do them.
One Sunday Dad thought he was having a heart attack. He had chest pain all morning and it wouldn't go away. He didn't act like he was having a heart attack but I decided that he knew how he felt and I didn't. I wanted to take him to the hospital in Des Moines but he wouldn't hear of it. He finally decided to go to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota to be checked, about a 5 hour drive. I drove him to the emergency room there and he was admitted that night. They checked him but did not find signs of a heart attack. They kept him in the hospital about 5 days but couldn't find the cause. While we were there Mom and I stayed in a kitchenette across the street from the hospital. The first night I noticed that Mom was in a lot of pain when she laid down. She didn't seem to think hurting that much was unusual. The next morning I took her to the clinic and told them what the problem was. They checked her and found that she had 3 broken ribs and that she had osteoporosis. The doctor said we would need to be very careful with her and he wrote a prescription for a wheel chair with inflatable tires. It rode smoother with inflatable tires rather than hard rubber tires. We got the wheel chair when we were back in Granger. In October it was again time to go to Arizona. About a week after we were there Mom started complaining about her teeth hurting. It got worse so I called a friend of Mom and Dad's that was a nurse. She immediately came over, took Mom's pulse and told us to get her to a hospital. Her heart beat was very irregular and fast. I drove her to the hospital that was connected with the Mayo Clinic at Scottsdale where they admitted her. I had never heard of this kind of sign for heart problems, but they said it is not uncommon in women. Dad drove back to the trailer and I stayed with Mom day and night. When I wasn't there Mom got upset and tried to leave. Some friends brought Dad to visit every day, then he went home and took care of Hobbes. After about a week they sent Mom home on digitalis that you put under her tongue. She still had times when her teeth would hurt very badly, but they said there was nothing they could do about that.
Dad made appointments at the Mayo Clinic satellite clinic at Scottsdale for Mom and him. These appointments were spread out over a three month period throughout the winter. Dad's doctor had been his doctor for quite a while, was from Des Moines, helped with his hip replacement a few years earlier and teased Dad about going to Rochester when he thought he was having a heart attack. After all, if it really was a heart attack he needed to get to the closest hospital, not one 5 hours away. Dad laughed, turned red and agreed. While I was sitting in the trailer I decided to see if I could make Mom and Dad a Christmas card to send to their friends. I needed something to do at night. Mom and Dad had started receiving cards and Dad wanted to send a few. Dad thought perhaps he might send eight. I made a cactus with Christmas tree balls on it. I thought I did a good job. It didn't quite look like a professional card, but it was very good and I enjoyed doing it. Dad liked it so well he went through his address book and wanted to send it to all his friends, totaling 39 cards. After that Dad thought the computer was the most wonderful thing he had seen in a long time, but he didn't want to learn how to use it himself. When Theresa and Larry, Jr. got married I asked people for some of their favorite recipes as a present. I hoped to get 50, but I received over 250. I spent a lot of time that winter finally putting that book together. I made one for Theresa, then Theresa thought it would be nice to make one for Chandra, Eric's wife, so I made 2 copies. Learning some of the things you can do on a computer was turning out to be something I enjoyed as well as something to do. I had a lot of time on my hands and I knew I couldn't just sit and do nothing. When we went to the grocery store we put Mom in a wheel chair and Dad pushed her around. I normally took a cart and picked things up, walking down an isle while they stayed at the end. One day we were shopping when I noticed a lady watching them, and she seemed to be following them. I finally went over to them and stayed longer than usual. The lady said something to me that I couldn't believe. She said, "I bet I can love them better than you can." I said, "What?" She repeated it. I just smiled and talked to Mom and Dad. I picked up a few more things and Dad wandered around a little ways from me. I didn't go very far away from them, and when I did I kept watching them. Then the lady came up to me and asked if they were my parents. I told her they were. She told me she took care of people and that she took their social security to take care of them. She said she would love to take care of them and love them. Again she said she could love them more than I could. I told her I liked them too and walked away. I wasn't going to fall into the trap she was trying to set. When she walked over to them, starting to talk I walked over to them also. She walked away. That happened a couple of times then I decided we better get out of there. We checked out and I watched to make sure she wasn't following us. Every time we went to the grocery store I watched them closer after that. It's amazing what people will do. I felt sorry for the people that she was taking, but I couldn't do anything about it. She was smart enough to not cause me to call the police. When Mom was feeling well enough Kinsell and Vivien came over to visit, and Hobbes hid as he always did. Vivien was impressed with the fact that we had a cat that didn't rule the house. She didn't like cats that had to sit on your lap while you were visiting. They invited us to visit them and gave me directions. We went to their home 2-3 times that winter. In January Dad decided we should drive over to Long Beach again since Mom was still doing well enough to travel. We visited for a few days then Dad decided it was time to go back to Arizona. The day we were leaving Long Beach Dad wanted to stop and visit Maxine again. I'm sure enjoying getting to know my relatives that I haven't seen for a long time and the new ones I've never met.
Some of Mom's relatives, Don and Millie, spend a couple months in Mesa and some live there. They are from the Abernathey line. Mom had grown up with Myrtle, and Myrtle's son lived in the area. When Myrtle came to visit from Arkansas they invited us to visit. Mom was happy to see her friend from her childhood. She had a hard time believing that it was Myrtle but it finally registered and she talked about it for several weeks. Millie and I went to search out some genealogy information in Mesa. Millie taught me how to look for ancestry information and she was able to find some information I was looking for. Dad was able to take care of Mom for a few hours and insisted that I check out our genealogy. He said he wasn't interested in it, but each time he would ask what I had found.
Aunt Vivien had talked Dad into doing his life story a few years before and then she transcribed it. I decided to put it in book form and then give it to the family. Dad read through it, made a few changes then said it was ready. I took a photo of Mom and Dad to a shop like Kinko's and had the one of Dad scanned for the cover. It took me about three days to stop looking at Dad's picture on the computer. I was amazed at the technology available now. I ran the books off on the computer printer, like I had Theresa and Chandra's cookbooks, then had a store like Kinko's cut the pages. I put the pages together in the correct order then had them put plastic binders on them. Dad was very proud to give one to each of us kids and grandkids, and one to each of the family of his brothers and sisters. Out of 9 children, there were just 3 left. Dad and his twin brothers, Kinsell and Kenneth. Dad thought that the air pollution was bothering both Mom and him, so he finished up his exams with the Mayo Clinic and decided to look for a different place for next year. We left Mesa the first week in February. We drove down to Interstate 10, then east. We inquired about a safe place to cross the border, and found there was a place that appeared in the winter that you could walk across, then walk back across. There was a parking spot on the US side and a steady stream of people walking across. Dad and Mom stayed in the car while I walked across. I got the things I wanted then headed the wrong direction. I suddenly was in a section with Mexican houses, and men sitting on the lawns drinking and they were all watching me. I turned around suddenly and walked back the way I had come from. I found my way to the crossing fairly fast and to the car. I didn't say anything to Mom and Dad about almost getting lost. I just let Dad think I had a wonderful time. We drove on and Dad said he had some friends he had made in Campbell River that lived in Pharr, Texas. He wanted to stop there and see if we could camp in their trailer park for a while. We found the place and rented a spot for 2 weeks. We then located his friends and phoned them. They were happy to see us. One day they drove us across the border into Mexico. Mom and Dad sat in the car with them while I went shopping, again. I bought some vanilla and another thing or two then went back to the car. One day we drove east to find a place for the next winter. Dad had decided he didn't want to spend next winter in Pharr and wanted to check out the area around Brownsville. He had spent several winters in Brownsville. We drove there then drove on to the South Padre Island campground. They had an opening if we could get there tomorrow, so we reserved it for 2 weeks. We headed back to Pharr and got ready to leave in the morning. All three of us loved South Padre Island. We drove to the ocean every day and sat in the car and watched it. Dad wanted to go deep sea fishing next year. He used to do that when they stayed in this area all winter and he thoroughly enjoyed it. The air seemed to be good for both Mom and Dad and their health seemed to suddenly improve while we were there. I was used to the extremely dry climate of Arizona and I almost felt like I was drowning. I didn't realize it until the next winter but the humidity level at South Padre Island was something like 80% or 90%. Mom and Dad felt better than they had all winter, though. The very last day we were there a space opened up for the next winter, so I reserved it. All of us were happy we were going to return the next year. We left South Padre Island with a hope that my Dad hadn't had for quite some time. He thought he was going to Campbell River again in the summer, then South Padre Island the next winter. He might be able to go fishing both places.
As soon as we were back in Granger I made an appointment with Dr. Check, Mom and Dad's doctor in Ankeny. I told him about Mom's problems and he examined her as much as she would let him. She fought real well. He said it sounded like angina and gave her a medicine to try to relieve the pain she was having with her heart. I was so thankful for that medicine because she didn't have any more pain in her teeth. Her clothes didn't bother her as much, either, but she still tried to take them off when she was uncomfortable. I told Dad that I needed to make her some clothes she couldn't take off, but that wouldn't be tight. I made a pattern for a dress, then fit it to her. It had to have a long zipper down the back so she couldn't undo it, but we could get it off her without her raising her arms. It had to be loose fitting because anything around her waist bothered her. I had to reinforce the neck so that she couldn't tear it off. Mom got cold easy and needed a material that felt soft and warm. I chose a flannel material. Mom found the dresses so comfortable that she wanted to sleep in them also. I started to put her in Depends all the time.
We were living a normal life in Granger when Dad had another stroke and that stopped many things, including going to Canada again that summer. Dad was in the hospital several days, but he started improving. We got help for Dad through home health care agencies and then they were able to get help for Mom. The agency got a hospital bed for Mom. I started feeding Mom when she wouldn't eat. Dad got upset about that at first then realized that she wouldn't eat if I didn't feed her. He accepted it after that. Dr. Check gave Mom a new medicine for Alzheimer's. He said that sometimes it helped and sometimes it didn't help, but to try it for a month. If it didn't help in a month, we would discontinue it. Well, it did help -- a lot. Mom improved and was able to talk better and get around better. I still had to feed her, though. Dad's twin brothers had their 80th birthdays in October and the families decided to have a special party for them. Kinsell couldn't make it as he was having health problems but everyone else attended. Kenneth didn't want a cake since Kinsell couldn't be there. Everyone was glad to see my parents and my parents were happy to be there. Afterwards Dad said that was probably the last time he would see most of his relatives, and he was probably correct. I do enjoy visiting with my relatives.
Finally Dad was well enough to travel and it was time to go to South Padre Island. The home health agency gave me a couple names of agencies in Brownsville that I could call when we got down there. I called as soon as we were there and set up arrangements for their help with Mom. Mom could walk but we needed to lead her to keep her from falling or going in the wrong direction. By this time I usually walked backwards and held onto both her hands. |
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I like to
hear from you, whether it is to say "Hi!", |
