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I like to
hear from you, whether it is to say "Hi!", |
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© Jean Donahue 2001 Part 2 |
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Dad and I discussed the route we would
take to Vancouver Island, and decided to go through Billings, Montana
to visit some relatives, then go north to Canada, drive through Lake
Louise and the Banff area then on to Vancouver to catch the ferry to
Vancouver Island. The day we left was exciting for all of us. Dad was
doing something he thoroughly enjoyed, Mom sat in the back seat very
proud (looking like this was the way it was supposed to be) and I
felt very good about taking care of my parents. Of course, I also
enjoy
traveling. This was wonderful way to do what I wanted to do.
In Billings we stayed in the drive of our "new" relatives. They are such nice people and treated Mom and Dad with a great deal of respect. After a couple days and pot luck type of meals from the many cousins we headed on to Canada. When we arrived at Lake Louise Dad wanted to see it right away. Walking to Lake Louise from the parking lot wore Mom and Dad out so they sat down on a bench in front of the lake. They enjoyed looking at the beautiful scenery and watching the people. It was a little cold but they were dressed very warm. I walked around and took pictures. Of all the places I have been this is my most favorite place. I love Lake Louise. Dad wanted to make sure I saw what I wanted to see and Mom agreed with Dad, although she didn't really understand everything. That was the first time I completely realized that part of their enjoyment was watching me enjoy Lake Louise. Being a parent, I understood those feelings. After that I always made sure they knew that I was having fun and that I was glad I was with them. I decided I would always try to spend enough time someplace so that they would know I was enjoying myself, but not so much time that it was hazardous to them. It was so important for them to feel that they weren't a burden for me. I simply couldn't make them feel that way. Anyway, I did enjoy traveling and I did enjoy helping them. Sometimes it was hard, but it was worth it.
We stayed at the campground at Banff for 2-3 days. Each day I drove around the area. Dad wanted to see everything he could. He had always been that way but this time it was a different. At their age and with the health of Mom and his having strokes Dad realized there was little chance of him seeing any of this again. He wanted to enjoy everything he could. Mom just enjoyed it since she didn't realize what the future held. We went into "trinket shops," as Dad always called gift shops, the Lake Louise hotel, and saw other scenes. He had me drive a scenic drive so he could get a better view. The elk wandered around our campground and when we were leaving there was a mother and her baby fairly close to the road. Like a fool, I got out to take a picture, but I tried not to get too close. I used a zoom lens and took the first picture without any problem, then the mother saw me. She started charging! As I ran to the car my heart was pounding and visions of people being attacked by wild animals went through my mind. I jumped in and slammed the door shut. That really was a stupid thing to do. Dad got a big laugh out of that one. He had always done things like that himself. We left Banff and continued on to Campbell River. We stopped one night at a campground that had a live program with music after supper. We walked down the grassy incline, taking two lawn chairs with us. Dad enjoyed listening to the music and Mom directed the whole thing. When Dad decided to leave he couldn't stand up. I started to pull him out of his chair with his arms when a man stopped me. "Don't do that," he said. "You can hurt him that way. Let me show you how to get him up." He then stood behind Dad, put his hands under Dad's arm pits, bent his knees and pull Dad up the correct way. As I had learned in Oklahoma, God will always be there and give us the help we need. When we arrived at Tsawwassen to wait for the ferry Dad let out a sigh. "We're really here." The ferry took around 2 hours to arrive at Nanaimo on Vancouver Island. Mom and Dad sat by a window and watched the scenery Dad made sure I walked outside. Of course, I checked on them every 15-20 minutes. It always felt so good to feel the fresh air blow your hair, to watch the foamy wake behind the ferry and to watch the scenic islands as we passed them. When it was time to drive off the ferry I felt like we were in a race. We waited for the man to flag us off and then, as a group, we raced off, up the hill and onto the road. The road was decent but having been on the island before I knew it would turn into a two way, curvy road on which you couldn't drive very fast. The next 145 kilometers (approximately) would be very slow, about a 3 to 4 hour drive. That's approximately 100 US miles. When we drove into the campground Mom and Dad's friends came down to greet us. It was like old home week. I was starting to realize how much Mom and Dad seemed to have three homes. One in Iowa, one in Canada, and one in Arizona. Dad was the oldest amongst everyone there and they kept telling him that he was an inspiration for them. They hoped they would be as active and healthy as he is when they're his age. When anyone went fishing for Salmon early in the morning, everyone had CB's on the boat and used CB handles to carry on conversations. They enjoyed it, but when anyone had trouble they would call the others and everyone would help. Dad's handle was popcorn, so that's what everyone called him. One of the men volunteered to park the trailer. Afterwards Dad asked why I didn't park it. I told him his friend wanted to. Tears came into Dad's eyes. "They're all good friends here."
The space we had was a very good space at the front of the camp where we could sit and watch the ocean, cruise ships and people could stop when they walked down to their boat. There was a road between the camp and the boats that everyone had to walk across to get to their boat. Traffic went around 40-60 mph in US miles and it could be dangerous if they weren't careful. We set up camp and then sat outside for a while. It was a beautiful view of the ocean and the fresh air felt so good. The next day some of the men came down and unloaded the boat. Tears again came into Dad's eyes. He appreciated his friends so much. Mom's friends came over to say Hi to her. They introduced themselves and told her they had known her for a long time. Mom had always been a very polite person, and still was. She didn't recognize them but she would look at them and say something like, "Oh? That's nice." All of my parent's friends said they were glad to see me with my parents this year. They were afraid for my parents last year because Dad didn't seem to be able to take care of Mom like he should. Fishing for salmon that year wasn't very good. Everyone thought it had something to do with the commercial fishermen. Dad resigned himself to the fact that he might not catch many fish but he could still try.
July 1st is Canada Day, which is similar to our 4th of July. The camp had a potluck picnic with tables set amongst the evergreen trees and flew both the Canadian flag and the US flag. Mom and Dad always enjoyed the get-togethers of the camp. They enjoyed their friends, and Mom and Dad had always been friends to everyone. I love Canada. While I was growing up Dad always took us (his family) to Canada fishing for a week or two every year. I like the people, the scenery and especially the crumpets. Kinsell and Vivien arrived on the Island and came over to visit. We sat outside on the patio and talked and had a good time. Vivien and I talked computers, and she showed me things I didn't know. She's the one that got me interested in the internet and emailing friends and relatives. Dad did enjoy the emails from his relatives family, and sometimes would have me read them to him twice. We spent a few days with Kinsell and Vivien before they went back home. People told me how much they liked my parents. They remembered when my parents were "themselves." Of course Mom was like a child now and had to be watched all the time or she would wander off. She didn't know where she was or where to go. That's about the time I realized how much Dad's strokes had affected him. There was something different. He didn't seem to be able to carry on a conversation like he used to. He was more emotional and his attitude was different. He had lost a part of him that was very precious, but he is still the same person. We are going to have some wonderful times together traveling as long as possible. Dad spent a few days in camp then decided he wanted to drive down to Victoria. Victoria has many things for tourists and Mom and Dad enjoyed Butchart Gardens. Dad wanted me to go there. Victoria is about 255 kilometers (about 160 US miles) from Shelter Bay. We tried to leave earlier, but as we found we couldn't get started until around 9:00 am. It seemed that it took a couple hours to get all of us ready. We found a campground then unhooked the car and drove into the city. We couldn't find a parking spot close to where we wanted so Dad decided to stay in the car with Mom while I saw what he wanted me to see. He was a little unsteady on his feet and we didn't think Mom could walk that far. I hurried through the English Wax Museum and then went back to the car. I told Dad I didn't know of anything else I wanted to see in Victoria. I had seen it the year before. To be quite honest I would have liked to visit other places, but I didn't feel safe leaving my parents that long. After all, they were more important than sightseeing. Dad insisted on my seeing the Butchart Gardens one more time, so I drove there. The Butchart Gardens is a large place with beautiful gardens, birds and fountains. It takes several hours to see it all but I knew I shouldn't stay that long. I walked through some of it fairly fast, bought a few things at the gift shop then went back to the car. Perhaps I took an hour at the most.
When I walked back to the car I felt humiliated beyond words. Dad was sleeping in the front seat of the car and Mom was sitting in the back seat -- completely naked. I rushed to the car and put her blouse on, pulled her slacks up enough to cover her and told her she had to leave them on. I have always wondered what people thought that walked past and saw Mom undressing. Mom was like a very young child and didn't have the inhibitions an adult has. She didn't realize she should have clothes on. All she knew was that she was very uncomfortable and had to do something to feel better. Dad asked several times what else I wanted to see, but there was no way I was going to leave them in a car while I went to see the sights. I wasn't going to take a chance of Mom undressing again. I told Dad I had seen everything I wanted to and that we could go back to Shelter Bay unless there was something he wanted to see. He said there wasn't and we left the next morning.
On a sunny, calm day Dad decided he wanted to go on a boat ride and possibly go fishing. I told the owner of the camp then I loaded the car and drove across the road. The boat was set on round logs and there was a board along side the boat to stand on to get in. Dad tried to climb in but couldn't. I finally helped push him over the edge and then he had to move to another seat. He was very stiff and had a hard time moving. I had Mom sit down on a log while I climbed in to help Dad. Then I picked Mom up and got her inside the boat. I then climbed in, got them both on a seat and started arranging things so I could start the motor. When the owner saw us in the boat he came down to see how we were doing. I told him that we were ready to go. He climbed into the tractor, put the forks under the boat and lifted us up to put us in the water. Mom grasped the side of the boat and started to move but I took her hand away and told her to sit still, which she did. Dad looked like he was in heaven. He was in his boat again and going to go out on the water. He did love that. Dolphin swam around the area and seals came up to the boat while Dad tried to fish. The seals would swim over, stick their head out of the water and look at us while we looked at them. They are so cute. Mom started complaining about her back hurting. She had fallen last year and had a compression fracture of her backbone. It had healed but it still bothered her so we headed back to camp. Dad was satisfied that we could go fishing this summer and perhaps the next time he could catch some fish. On shore the manager of the camp helped me get Mom and Dad out of the boat. After the struggle of getting out of the boat Dad did wonder how often he could go out on the water. A few days later Dad decided I needed to see the pacific ocean on the west side of the island. I got a kick out of that because I told him I didn't need to see it. It reminded me that Dad used to buy Mom a new car for Mother's Day every 2 years. Like Mom really wanted a new car for a Mother's Day present. Anyway, he wouldn't take no for an answer.
We got up early to drive over to the other side of the island. It was a good 2-3 hour drive. We drove through the mountains, seeing a bear along the way. The road was narrow and desolate. It was a beautiful drive, though. We drove to Ucluete to eat lunch in a rustic cafe then to the beach. Dad insisted that I get my feet wet while they stayed in the car. The tide was out so it was a long walk to the water. When I came back to the car I told them how cold the water was, what the tide was doing and I brought back a few shells. I had hurried but didn't want them to know that. A couple days before we left to go home some friends brought us a sack of canned salmon. We hadn't caught any and they wanted us to take home some salmon. When it was time to leave, the men of the camp came down to help load things. Several of them picked the boat up and put it on top of the car. Dad just looked at them in amazement. He thanked them all and they said they would be down the next day help get the trailer ready and hooked up the car. When it was time to leave it was a very emotional time. Everyone felt they wouldn't see Mom and Dad again, and they were probably correct. |
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I like to
hear from you, whether it is to say "Hi!", |
